beard lust

Apparently yesterday was International Fetish Day. Still celebrating on Tuesday with the Llama Lords and a bunch other groovy faces though, but regardless of that I still wish to share a fetish of mine.

For those of you who are unaware of what “fetish” means, here’s a quick definition courtesy of google search/online dictionary:

Definition of FETISH

1
a : an object (as a small stone carving of an animal) believed to have magical power to protect or aid its owner; broadly :a material object regarded with superstitious or extravagant trust or reverence
b : an object of irrational reverence or obsessive devotion
c : an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression
2
: a rite or cult of fetish worshipers
3
: fixation
I’d like to align my use of the word “fetish” in the statement “I have a fetish for beards” with definitions 1b and 3 (with 1c still on debate). Anyway, so yeah, I have a thing for beards/men with facial hair in general to the extent that I geek out so bad whenever I see some guy who’s sporting one. I think a lot of my fetishism has to do with the fact that seeing men with full beards is sort of uncommon in the Philippines. A good number of the male population here are unable to grow even a decent goatee despite how much they try/want, which is a damn shame in my opinion. I will not deny that after years of swooning over Tim Burton characters that I am extremely attracted to androgynous men and women with skinny frames, however there’s something about meaty men with beards/facial hair that get me all the fuckin’ time. I don’t know really, maybe it’s because my dad looks so cool with a beard that it carried over to my likes for men. I don’t really know nor am I generally interested in questioning how my like/love/lust/fetishism for beards started, all I’m concerned with right now is sharing you the glory that is men with beards/facial hair.
EXHIBIT A: The Scruff
Also known as what you get after shaving off a full beard and your man-ness refuses to keep you babyface’d. A lot of women (at least from the crowd I usually hang with) like scruff because it oozes enough “macho” vibes on a guy but at the same time says “I tried to look decent but I’m so man that I can’t be clean shaved, darling”. Also scruff is much more preferred than a beard by many vagina’d-things because it’s easy to pull of. Don’t shave and you immediately are five points more attractive (if you can get scruff and it looks great on you, that is).

Robert Downey Jr. not only sports great scruff, but damn nice bear arms.

Jared Leto. I don't love him as much as certain other friends but I'm posting this because I know someone loves the hell out of this man. *pokes*

See? Even magazine covers of men in close-up look better with scruff.

EXHIBIT B: The Sideburns
Please never ever EVER confuse these wonderful things with mutton chops. I normally don’t discriminate against facial hair, but I honestly dislike mutton chops on the men of today. Perhaps if I lived sometime when the industrial revolution was taking place and everything looks better in brown-tones and photographs were in sepia then fine, I think mutton chops would be soooo damn sexy. However I was born in ’92 and thus I do not like mutton chops. ANYWAY, let me say a thing or two about sideburns. 1. They compliment men’s haircuts so well; 2. ELVIS had them, thus they are sexy when a man can pull them off; and 3. People tend to forget sideburns also count as facial hair, thus is usually slips under the radar for women who claim they like “clean shaved men” but in fact unknowingly like men with sideburns.

Side burns these outrageous only look damn good when you look this old school.

Justin Pierre, long time musician crush, he sports the scruff/sideburn combo too damn well and his hair is too cool for normal eyes.

EXHIBIT C: The ‘Stache.
All the fuckin’ hipsters in the house go curl your jet black Pringles mustaches! I honestly don’t get how hipsters are associated with mustaches and vice-versa so I’ll just shrug my shoulders and be on my way about their affinity.
So yeah, the ‘Stache, in my book this is the beard without the chin hair. I’m not as big a fan of ‘staches as I am with beards but I give due props to any and all guys who can pull this fucker of a facial hair type off. Not all men look good in mustaches because they sometimes end up looking like either a porn star actor/agent or a pedophile, sometimes both if it’s that bad. However those who sport the ‘stache and don’t end up looking like any of the two automatically win extra dapper and dandy points, all of which is magnified whenever they wear tweed/suits.

Mid-60s Beatles are always a perfect example of good use of 'stache. This was before their "mountain man" phase and I think they look swell. Do note though that George leveled up too early though, hence beard and not 'stache.

Remember what I said about tweed and/or suits? Seeeee, mustaches make a man, like The Comedian, look more dandy. Notice how less of a bastard he looks.

Jason Schwartzman is the perfect man with 'stache. Honestly, I cannot get over how adorable he is.

EXHIBIT D: B.E.A.R.D. (Boy, Everyone Around Roars Daaaaaaaaaaamn).
I have no idea where that came from but you should really know how much I love men with beards. My current dream life is to live in a tree house in the middle of a forest with a bearded man and several cats and a dog and maybe children. Yeah, this description is starting to get creepy so I’ll just move on.
Beards. The full on facial hair bonanza. There are a good number of the kinds of beards a man could sport but I wont’ get into them less this post because way to fucking long and either way you can just google those things. I’m just hear to share my fetish. BEARDS. Ugh. I could just cream myself all day by looking at damn good pictures of well-dressed men in full beards. I don’t really have much more to say so I’ll just bring on the pictures of men with various kinds of beards.

That's what I'm talking about, brah.

Paul Rudd plus beard is one of my OTPs.

This picture is "hipster" in a number of ways that it's funny.

If I mentioned Paul Rudd, naturally I had to include Jason Segel with beard.

Luke Wilson never looked better than as Richie Tenenbaum in Wes Anderson's "The Royal Tenenbaums".

So many things lovely about this photo right here.

Remember that guy I'll live in a tree house with? This isn't him but I do hope his beard is that epic.

I'm running out of captions, just look and marvel.

One word: cream.

And so ends my post about my current main fetish for 2012. If you have a fetish I honestly suggest you go geek out about it, share it to the world, allow people to judge you because being shameless makes people uncomfortable which is cool. Rock the foundations of society and what have you. Closing off with this music video by this band blessed by the Facial Hair God.
**all images swiped from google and/or tumblr who probably swiped it from various other sources as well.
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: